


In Which Thor Decides To Match Off Tony Stark With His Brother

by bqdfantasy



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: FrostIron - Freeform, Humour, M/M, Matchmaking, Prompt Meme Fill, Slash, clumsy!matchmaker!Thor, frostironprompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-04
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-15 15:57:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bqdfantasy/pseuds/bqdfantasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>The moment when Thor starts trying to set Tony up with his brother is painfully obvious.</em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fill for the prompt "clumsy!matchmaker!Thor" on frostironprompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Thor Decides To Match Off Tony Stark With His Brother

**Author's Note:**

> As the summary says, this is a fill for [this](http://frostironprompt.livejournal.com/518.html?thread=23558#t23558) prompt. Unbeta'ed.
> 
> ETA: edited to add a scene break where there should be one. whoops.  
> okay, fixed. finally.

The moment when Thor starts trying to set Tony up with his brother is painfully obvious.

 

He makes loud comments about how having a partner might calm Loki down a little, after making sure that Tony is in the room (not that he’d need to be, given that “loud” for Thor is best described as “deafening” to everyone else).  He remarks that Tony and his brother have a very similar sense of humour. He even goes out of his way to get Tony fighting Loki when the god of mischief shows up to play around with the Avengers.

 

“You think we ought to tell them?” Tony asks Loki one night, as they lie in bed together after several rounds of glorious sex.

 

Loki snorts. “Do you not find Thor’s ham-handed attempts to match us entertaining?” he asks, smirking.

 

Tony has to admit that yes, watching Thor try to be subtle about pairing them off is absolutely hilarious, mostly because he’s so bad at it. Nobody is certain where Thor got his information about Earth relationships, but Tony strongly suspects that somebody gave him a copy of one of those awful women’s magazines that go on about spiritually connecting with your partner and spending time talking about feelings, or Twilight or something. Both Tony and Loki had silently agreed that there would be no lengthy discussions of feelings here, not unless it was absolutely necessary.

 

Anyway, Tony isn’t sure how relationships work on Asgard, but he has a feeling it’s very different from Earth, since Thor seems to think that Tony and Loki beating each other up means that they want to shag. It’s true, of course, but none of Tony’s other team mates seem to have realised that yet. Thor, though, is apparently convinced that all they need is a bit of a push from him to fall into bed with each other.

 

“True,” Tony says, realising that Loki is still watching him inquisitively. Tony has a habit of doing that, of thinking too much and getting distracted from a conversation – when he’s relaxed, anyway. And maybe it says something about him that he’s relaxed enough in Loki’s presence to let his mind wander, but…

 

Before Tony’s thoughts can distract him again, he reaches up to pull Loki towards him for a kiss, resolving to forget about Thor’s matchmaking attempts for a while.

\--------- 

 

Inevitably, the team find out about their relationship. Ironically enough, it’s actually one of Thor’s matchmaking attempts gone wrong that causes it; somehow, during a battle, Tony and Loki end up trapped beneath half a building together. The Avengers are more than a little worried about Tony being stuck down there with their enemy, and they’re making that pretty clear through the comms; Tony rolls his eyes, and he’s just about to mute them when Thor booms, “Man of Iron! Perhaps if you attempted to distract my brother by telling him of your science, you might remain unharmed for long enough for us to reach you!”

 

Tony mutes the comms at that, so that the Avengers won’t hear him laughing his head off at how Thor has apparently given up subtle and gone for hints applied with Mjolnir. Loki watches him, smirking slightly.

 

“JARVIS,” Tony says, when he’s done laughing, “how long do we have before they dig down to us?”

 

“Taking into account the fact that Doctor Banner has returned to his usual form,” JARVIS answers calmly, “you have approximately one hour and thirty minutes before the other Avengers reach you. If you intend to spend that time… fraternising with the enemy, sir, I could always inform Mr Odinson that he has been successful in his attempts to persuade the two of you to sleep together.” If his voice had been any dryer, it would have been like the Sahara. “I am certain you would have considerably longer then, as he would want the two of you to get to know each other, although you have spent considerable amounts of time doing just that.”

 

“Sass,” Tony grumbles, tugging at the helmet. “I asked for timing, not you judging me.” Once he has the helmet off, he grins at Loki. “So, we have somewhere around an hour before they get here.” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.

 

“Alternatively,” Loki says, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth, “I could simply use magic to escape, and leave you here alone.”

 

“Yeah, but do you actually _want_ to?”

 

Loki considers that for a moment, then waves a hand, and the Iron Man suit abruptly vanishes. Tony doesn’t worry about that too much; it’s become a habit of Loki’s to do that when they aren’t near any of Tony’s houses. Instead, Tony focuses on the Norse god currently straddling him.

 

When the team arrive, around two hours later, they find Tony and Loki post-shag and working their way cheerfully towards a second round. Steve turns scarlet and looks away, seeming uncertain whether he should separate them or just pretend that this isn’t happening. Natasha just sighs, and rolls her eyes when Clint mimes gagging onto the floor. Bruce has gone back to the Avengers Tower, but Tony doesn’t think he’ll be too bothered; they’re science bros, after all.

Thor looks absolutely delighted.

“Brother!” he exclaims. “Man of Iron! I wish the two of you many happy years together, and many children!”

Tony gapes at him, and then glances at Loki, who’s scowling.

“I very much doubt that we will have any children, _Thor_ ,” he bites out, clearly very unhappy at being interrupted in the middle of ravishing Tony. Thor simply beams at them.

“Nevertheless,” he says cheerfully, “I am most glad that the two of you have found love in each other.” Then he hefts Mjolnir almost fondly. “And, Anthony?”

“Yeah?” Tony asks cautiously.

“Should you harm my brother,” Thor tells him, “I will be forced to challenge you to a duel to the death, which I will win.” The cheerful smile he offers Tony after saying that makes it a lot scarier than it would be otherwise.

“Right,” Tony says hastily. “Got it.”

“I am not a _child_ , Thor,” Loki snaps, and, as if to illustrate that point, he goes back to snogging Tony senseless, to the groans of the Avengers and Clint’s mock gagging. Tony’s not complaining.


End file.
